When you put people, family or friends on a higher pedestal, you start having EXPECTATIONS. When you feel like you've done or tried to do everything you could to be a good friend/relative ..from simply being there, to providing a home, to spending money, to randomly treating your loved ones here and there,etc you start to look at these people who you've helped, for the SAME treatment or SOME kind of gesture of appreciation. That takes us back to the word: EXPECTATIONS. And when you think about it, these people you did all of this shit for, don't really owe you anything. You would think so because you've spent hard earned money, or fought their battles, whatever the case may be, but that was YOUR choice. YES, it was out of the goodness of your heart, BUT you DIDN'T have to do it. Just like they don't have to do shit for you as a genuwine gesture of appreciation.
When you don't put people on a high pedestal, you get less disappointments. Everything will flow accordingly because you aren't putting to much effort into the friendship/relationship just as the other is doing. Therefore there are NO expectations. When one or the other does something, it wont really phase you. That is my problem. I do a lot for people and start expecting SOMETHING back, eventually. SOME form of SOMETHING just to reassure myself that my gestures haven't gone overlooked. I shouldn't do that. So from now on, I will try to no longer think too highly of people. I will allow shit to figure itself out. Once I see that people want a deeper friendship w/ me, I will give my 50% back. It's best that way. A lot of friendships end like that. People slowly drift apart when they feel a certain way. I've heard many stories from others and they all seem to be putting their friends on high pedestals when others aren't doing the same. That's not anyone's fault, but that person's.
Some people use and abuse people's kindess. Whether they intentionally meant to do it or not certain actions can make it seem that way. That's why communicating helps. But, most people at this age, still don't talk their problems out. Too stubborn. I know. I can be stubborn, too. I listen to people A LOT, but sometimes I don't feel like anyone hears me so I just don't talk about my problems anymore. I write about it. Blog it. It's the best way. You get to vent and no one can talk back or misunderstand you.
But, yeah. When you take the time to evaluate things because you keep seeing constant similarities with previous issues, you come to find many conclusions that can make sense to you, but not to others. Or make sense to you and to others. In this case IDC if it makes sense to others or not. I've figured it out for my future reference. Take it or leave it.
This can also pertain to "fake" friendships. If people never really cared about growing with you or not, fakeness will take place. Don't take it serious. Either quit dealing with those people, or treat them as they treat you. It's only fair. You owe them nothing, they owe you nothing. As long as they respect you, words dont matter. People will talk regardless and believe what they want to believe. If no one has the balls to say it to you or to ask you about something they heard, etc... That's not a friend just an associate. Don't trip. FRIENDS who care about growing with you wont be fake to you. They'll tell it like it is or simply never say anything at all and keep on living as the days go by. Those who you can tell are fake, you never put on a high pedestal. That way, when you hear they said this or that it wont affect you.
I'm trying to better myself and slowly learn day by day. I use to feel like I didn't really do wrong in any of my friendships because it seemed like I did everything or tried to do no wrong. But, you cant think like that. NO ONE is ever CLEAR of anything. I may haven't done anything major, but the smallest things count, too. NO one has spoken to me about any issues they had with me so I'll never know, I can only make myself grow and mature on my own and figure out my own issues of what I think I can work on...
NEVER apologize for how YOU feel, though. NO ONE can take that away from YOU.
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